chapter 8

It's way to long for me to update my blog, perhaps i have an attitude problems of keeping things in check weekly or monthly! Thats true, i wrote what i wanted to blog on a piece of paper few weeks ago, the only reason i didn't type it down is behaving so lazy lately and couldnt find a proper time to "really" blog. i don't want to live a mess up life so i always prefer to live my life flexible and simple. Somehow, many people around me are kinda complicating things, especially my teammates. i hold no grudges to any of my team members, just blogging my feelings and stresses inside this "freezone area".

  Team works always been a problems to me, not everyone but mostly, there's one thing that actually hurt me is.....i heard my director discussing with another members concluded that our story is pointless, and boring! i was speechless after going through so much things and you said the story got no sense of purpose!!! They even think the titlr "Frankie and Brain " i came out is childish no meaning, so they came out thier own version of "Bathing time" which doesnt make more sense than mine, even cricized by my juniors. The reason they say the story is lame it's because they say no moral value, and it's no meaning for Frankiestein to takes out his Brain.
  so they held a discussion with my mentor again. This time they are well-prepared. they asking my Mentor about

1) Story is pointless, why Frankiestein can take his brain out
2) need moral value not clear of the story
3) title

Face-palm!!!

My Mentor just said it's might be Asians are not familiar with Europe culture, because that's what Frankeistein does! i feel sorry to them cause they approach with a lame-ass question causing us to embarrass ourself, about the story it's pretty clear with the Mentor it's just they tried to played with the fancy camera angles, and the title does ring a bell, like Tom and Jerry classical animation. Come to think about it
 why don't they ask me bout it before they ask stupid questions?
fter going through so much things

I didnt join most of the meeting cause i confident with the story, it's just the director having less-confident in the story due to the reason his couple friends said it's meaningless. They don't even understand !

   A lot of times, i will find myself share no  interests in study with my  team members, the only things i'm common with everyone in this world  is gaming and cracking jokes. I am a problem to myself and my friends around me you can say that ....like i care!! Few weeks ago, they had done a grave mistake, they have done a previs which is 80% different from the story reel. The way they did it, wasn't cool at all cause they didn't even think about what is the story reel for if you don't even follow it ! I'm just nuetral playing my role as a player not picking a side on my mentor or my team the only thing that kept me as a player is to learn from people who are better than me. The things they changed in the previs including, camera angles, timming, and animating resulting 30 seconds more than the story reel. It made the previs so dragging and boring. My metor just played the few second of the video and hit stop because its hard for him to judge when a previs and story reel are playing together. You can see an obvious mistake there, but my team mates they all are so confidence and even asked me to change the story reel before the critics start. During the critics session, my Mentor just rebuked us for "acting smart" cause the previs has added a lot of worthless things. I don't know what the gang  are thinking but i guess this would be a consequences of "trying to impress someone by adding a lot of weird stuff making it worst". I can see dissapointment in their faces, somehow deep inside me is happy about it. I knew things would happen if you don't follow the blueprint.
 
  Having less confident with the story will causing me to feel lack of interest working together as a team. I tried, but the only thing i feel happy and enjoy is being myself....I have stepped out of my comfort zone, i'm currently learning to composite, render and doing lighting. However, i have no problems of cracking jokes with people i do enjoy the moment we are laughing and gaming in class. Peace

chapter 7

  Its been a while since my last blog best way to say is

My day is excellent, tryna live my life exuberant by learning new things and perfecting things i'm doing. If possible i would balance my life doing final project with team mate, exercise, and write more instead of crapping. I must say prayer should be my priority, I pray regularly sometimes i led astray turned my back but i know my Lord will always wait for  me and lead me back to his arms. I must have strong faith, I'm easily 2 be tempted by evil to do things dishonor my Lord (i wouldn't mention why i'm tempted by) will mention it other time. I must say i find my faith again, I'm sober back from hiatus be humble to learn from other people so i can be better one day. A lot of things going on and i manage 2 pull myself back together on track , if it wasn't because of my prayer i would have lost and didn't update my blog. My Lord indeed is my shepherd yo. I have a lot of personal issue but i wont blog about it or tell my friends cause they all are just clueless only my Lord knew me better than myself.

   I suffered an "abnormal sleep orientation" or insomnia( not sure) for months. My friend said this is the symptom of insomnia you just keep thinking bout other things that wont happen. He urged me to consult a doctor to check but i prefer relying on prayer to get through my night. Although it started not well and doubting but if keep praying for it you will get your favor in return. It does help, cause My Lord, My Father is a Living God.

  Okay, back to the current news happening in my college last couple week ago. My mentor decided to merge both group together to continue the project my group are doing. The reason behind this action is, the other group they got their issues with their own team members and they are far left behind of what it is schedule. There will be total 10 people working on one project. I must say merging 2 groups together is a good news for me cause we couldn't manage to complete our task in time, an assistants from another group is always a delight. We all assigned to our own task, I'm still working on my story reel. My mentor does approved the story reel because i follow a classical movie cinematography, which is Tom n Jerry but my team mate is always the one i'm hard 2 convince cause they wanted to have a more interesting perspective which i felt it's kinda complicated to apply it in our short film cause our genre is Looney toon style. What can i do man ? so i just do exactly what they assign me to do, try to find a way to have a win-win situation between me and them.

Benefit of  keep refining the story reel is i got a less work to do and i can focus more on my portfolio, but i will make them feel satisfy for the story reel after its done. So, i can make our life simple and keep going forward. Everyone is an asset player for me, so i don't usually think positions its important if you cant get your task finish in time.

I got no issue with anyone in my life but i have this "hating" issue on meeting with team mates especially it held too much!!!

like a week of it really kills me, now why would i say that? i felt like every time we set up a meeting once we have decided on certain thing the next day sum dude would just popped up to make confusions among the pigeons so i would really get tire about repeating the same matter for weeks. This isnt about the meeting now its about how not professional we are and how "fragile" and not confident we are to be easily discourage by certain tiny issue that proved not to be a problem. They liked to held meeting without putting into serious consideration about what is the purpose of today meeting  most likely every time the purpose is failed. So i looked around my classmate, actually half of the members has the same thought held too much of meeting with no proper direction is useless and its kinda irritating when it comes to a word "meeting" i prefer "discussion" more cause it give me a lightly feel and less tense, well be frankly i'm the dude who always absent in their meeting no wander some of them have prejudice on me.

  Every time i go to college i am cheerful not because i'm keen to explore new things but i love to spend my time cracking jokes around people, that helped me a lot especially in brighten my day and reminded me Life is full of happiness.

Life is short so lived it wise, no matter how shitty day will be we must always learn to appreciate happiness in our day.  Peace

chapter 5

chapter 5

   Hi, I didn't blog for about 3 weeks. I've been bussy lately dealing with my life filled with assignments and others things else. Somehow, i still manage to enjoy myself watching Spartacus series and have a wonderful day every weeks.

 Its a nice series and i finished all the series, feedback from the movie is? Why Kore has to be crucified, she has done nothing wrong.

 She's a kind noble woman speak with a polite manners and caring towards other unlike most of the character keep swearing and killing .....so sad to watch one of my favorite character dies.

If you havent watch the Spartacus yet i highly reccomend  to download it so you guys can watch as much episode as you like in one day.Thanks to my homie he downloaded all episodes of series for me. Notice the actor on the poster his name is Liam replaced Andy in the second series of Sparatcus.

 I prefer the previous actor who acted as Spartacus Andy Whitfield but misfortune sees him to a long sleep due to non Hodgkin Lymphoma. 

Hmmm....nothing caught my attention lately except keep on  refining my own animation for my portfolio purposes. I mentioned before, how i feel towards the discussion with my teammate( blogged in Chp.3), I just wanna say that time i was really despair almost like falling down a dark pit, when i  felt others judging the book by its cover is like viewing the crust without appreciate the "INSIDE".

So what's the outcome ?

  It took about 3 weeks for my mentor to reply, after we had presented our stories to him, he has already left with his wife to travel around the whole Asian. ( somehow i felt like hes procrastinating his duty as a mentor for not keeping us update haha but actually he's giving me time " not to be so hardworking") He gave us his reply just few days ago using skype. I was so nervous during the time he skyped  with us,whole class, I'm a bit worried about the result, i poured my blood my sweat and my tears in it of cause i don't want to return home disapointed. So i tell you what i do during that critical moment, i tried to stay cool have a smile on my face somehow always cheer me up and make me feel lighter. Then he begins to choose our stories, with just a glance through all the stories in my group he chose mine without any doubt. Out of the blue, my story has been chosen, i felt like i was hit by a blistering swing leaving my mind empty and dont know how do i react.
I'm ecstatic and feeling relieve. I dont know how to articulate my thoughts except a word can be use to describe me that time is "Joy" currently i am in the state of 100 percent boots with confident. Then he takes another glance again and find it curious asking where's the vampire story? Yes, i was so happy in my heart because he still remember my stories that i have told him unfortunately it is discarded by voting.

  One thing i have learnt and experienced in here is God does exist, and he's the living God Almighty, Amen.

  He resuscitated me and gave me a favor, so what more can i say except  praise the Lord. Another thing i would like to blog of is something base on my experiences. Sometimes, we might be intimidated by the look of something which is nearly imposible and we stood idle to accept the fate what i meant in my case is, I'm having a great disadvantage in filling the spot of 7 to let let my mentor to choose from this 7 stories. I witnessed my stories being rejected by voting, i felt some stories is discarded simply based on the voting,  it's kinda unfair to all of us but i tried not to take things personally.I have good relationship with my mates but when it comes to assignment i am the least favourite. They chose my story which is less interesting among my others( i will publish the animation as soon as we finish the project) . My story still be chosen by the mentor.What i want to emphasize here is, no matter what problems and adversaries we face, we should'nt give up easily at least we must give it all we got, i negotiated with my mates althought they dont see eye to eye eventually they chose one of my story. i would say be optimistic and see the bright side of the worst.....it's consider worst for me, but i still have'nt give up in hoping my story to be chosen that time.

So, this is it what i want to blog.

Yup, my symbol. Cross finger and count your blessing thats all i wanted to say, peace.

*noted : this was the blog i posted month ago, just dun know why it was        deleated. Thx God i still manage to retrieve it

chapter 6

  Hi, Its 3 am, dawn, i was on my bed 2 hours ago, couldnt get myself to sleep .

So i decided to wake up, grab my pen and pad to do a little writing. Its been a really busy weeks for me. Seems like everything just came to me without giving me a pause or take a breath. Probably its not the best time for me to say, but i really want to tell my team mate plz "cut me some slack". I didn't tell them cause everyone is working hard on their own portfolio assignment and group assignment.
  I am responsible in the story department. So far i don't feel any stress or difficulty to think of gags for my story, but one thing that always concern me is......I have to duel with my friend who is working with me in the same department. He has a sense but we don't always see eye to eye due to the reason he thinks my idea wont work.Well gotta be honest in this, you have to be pretty confident when you are presenting your idea with them especially my team mate( too quite), we gotta jump out of the box, and exhilarate in the universe that's what i think if you want to have a entertaining stories and gags. We got different opinions, so in order to let your idea to be convincing you have to waste a lot of breath telling them. Yea, i successfully  talk them through because i don't want to waste most of our time thinking we are doing it wrong. So to build the group confidence and morale you have to be sure that you are doing it right. In the end, yea the mentor didn't comment about what we are doing wrong, we still in the right track and that's fine for me haha.
 
  I don't bad mouth my team mate but i treat them equally as i treated my best friend and anyone i met. This is my blog the reason i'm blogging is to record all the process i have been through during a final year group work project. So, sorry for you have to read something i pissed off but this is a blogging of a real shit. So be fortunate if somebody unknown to you share their experiences to you XD( just joking).  Sometimes, you will just feel like you're fire up when it comes to people doubting you. I have this feeling, seriously is it because of my attitude love to prank and easy going giving people impression of not reliable? i don't think so man. There is few times, my team mate wanted to change the logline and the change the decision of  primary character into secondary character. I was so fire up that time, what has already be approved by the mentor we shouldn't go and change. What would you gain? if you change things that has already approved, you only making your work even more. I would say its a waste of effort but i still managed to not let my temper controls me. i didn't let them change unless the mentor approve it, so they went to ask the mentor. Guest what the mentor says?

No!!!!

 
  Hell yeah this is what i said inside my heart. Of course its No, i mean you cant change anything just because you feel like or follow your intuition without a solid reason. Guest how much time we have spent in the discussion due to this simple doubting of teammate...... I know my team mate they are hardworking and too careful of little bit details sometimes too much if these things really stress people out. I have to bear with them because all these conflicts is basically form from too much of consideration of making a kick ass animation. I am different, i have an average skill of technical but i can think quite flexible and quick cuz i have a wild imagination when i was kid so i am very clear of the big pictures and clear of the direction of we sailing to. However, i would only keep all this in my mind without telling them shouldn't doubt me because i am going to prove them with my actions instead of my tongue.
 
  After the incident, me and my team mate we all grew stronger bonds( at least this is what i think).

Its been joyful to work with them last couple days and i cracked a lot of jokes to make them laugh, this is my way of group work, work under no stress and enjoy it. Most people work hard just to accomplish things this is the way i don't think its work for me . So that's the different between me and my team mate. You can only be yourself let people accept you, of course you have to be tolerate and considerate other people as well. I am blessed with team mate that are so hardworking and i m truly honor to contribute my ideas to them. This is God arrangement my friends(unknown readers), so i have to walk the path my father has shaped for me. Amen
  BTW, this blog suppose to be updated last 2 weeks ago, but  who cares? This is my blog, peace.

chapter 4

  Hi, i was waiting for tomorrow 4/6 to update my blog, i was eating my potato chips and thinking what should i do? it's kinda weird because i got this feeling of being so empty and boring in all sudden....feels like i want to find something to do beside my assignments. I should n't say i am boring cuz i got tons of assignments to do, probably i  put it this way, i need a rest so i can get back to what i started ..(yo i m not robot i got feeling and i need to take things easy and comfort so cut me some slack and bake me a pizza....will ya ), tat sentence suddenly popped out in my mind, surely it's not a gud habbit to procrastinate your assignments. I wouldnt dare to tell people i am feeling empty right now cuz i dont have a reason of being that.....and in this world not everything has an answer to a question, and in my life there's a lot of things happening without reason...so i just can say "Just do it". ( tell myself go masterbate urself if u still feelin tat haha). My teammate and i get along quite well...i cracked a joke , they laughed that simple. Some of my frienz say i m an easy-going person i can easily mingled to any group and became like mystics( x-men) and began a conversation with anyone i want. Well, they're right about it and i also got tis stupid devil may care attitude which will give a bad impression for people sometimes. It would be stupid for me to think what would happen tomorrow ..... so i told myself forget about tomorrow, Let it be, I gonna care about is tonite...thn i started to blog.

  How strange i got attracted so easily by an unknown girl with pink.

  It's all happen last week evening raining lightly, while i was having a solitary walk with an umbrella around the blocks. ( i just feel like walkin under the raining day with an umbrella tat's all no reason for it ) suddenly, a girl passes by me, i take a looked and  i saw a caucasion about my height 5'7  wearing pink tank top and short pant running into a different direction where i am approaching. First thought come into my mind is she's cute probably she's running to find a shelter. I can offer my umbrella with her but my umbrella is only fit for one person (tat's the umbrella i took it from my college long ago). I continue my walk and i have a sudden thought evoking  in my mind thinking the time when i was with my family and friends tat time i m so happy always cheerful and careless..remembering and recalling such feeling is good but better don't do it often so we can move ahead...On my way, i went to buy some snack to eat, suddenly someone appear beside me than passed by me. I was astonished, its the pink girl from before...whao i started to realise how can she appears in my sight and passe by me again. She's quite a runner...i dropped my jaw and felt kinda loser, she's not running to find a shelter but to jog ....that's an athlete, i say.
  i went back to my room and told myself, why am i being so lazy? why ? is it  because the reason i am busying bout my assignments?

  Hell No !!! i am so lazy because i lost my motivation to exercise again. I used to exercise so i told myself i should be doing tis right now! so i plan a list what exercises i used to do, and that is my list.

1) jumping jacks
2) squats
3) bicycle crunch
4) sit-up
5) leg lift
6) push-up
7) jog or stationery jog

  These are the exercisers i used to do. My plan is i gonna start with minimum amount first before i can go for much. If i manage to stick to these exercisers and do it with ease i will proceed with something new. I made up my mind, i want to shape my body take my life healthy. No point enjoing life with no healthy body right.

 Guest, that girl in pink really inspired me a lot....inspire me to do exercise. i felt myself quite a loser cause i need an unknown girl to motivate me to do exercise ahahaha. Tips for doing exercise and get motivated to do more is....listening to some pumps up music....yea.....

  Later that nite, to prove i am still fit and manage to do more push up i decided to challenge myself to start doing for 20 times per set.

Unfortunately i cant, i just manage to do 10 times....what a sore loser i am.
Althought i am just like a couch potato right now

but i can shape it ( BTW i dont look fat exactly like this pic)
 its hard to start from the ground zero, but i have faith one day i can be as strong as a hero.

yea i want to be just like her keep smiling and enjoying your exercise.....The end....

2 minutes to 4/6

Chapter 3

  Tis few days alot of things had happened so it keeps me 2 procrastinate 2 update my blog althought i wrote them down on a sheet of paper but still couldnt move my finger just to type haha... well i should be blogging tis after 20 may , cuz 21 may is the day we pitch our stories to the mentor. Trust me i am pretty confident when it comes to pitch stories or telling stories and tat day not even has a sight of dark cloud.....whooo hooray...cus it's not going to rain....Praised the Lord cuz my Lord is on my side haha.

  First task we must discuss among our group members to narrow our personal 10 stories to 4. So i picked my 4 and pitched it to my mentor...althought i stutter a bit but i still manage to keep him entertain by my stories. I straight forward to the logline and didnt nag about the stories. My mentor seem pleased and some of my classmate commented it's hilarious. On that moment, i felt like i am "on top of the game" (I know i shouldn't let this thought comes into my mind, cuz i never know what would happen next)

  Second task, Now each of us in a group of 5 got 20 stories has to narrow it down to 7 stories. Somehow some of my members stories has be hinted as rejection by my mentor due to complex storyline and more than 2 characters. Well i gotta say, this is just like a "survivor of the fittest in the game" you gotta confirm you fight tooth and nails to convince them that your stories should be in the 7 spot. ( Sweat man, my readers you guys must be thinking i m selfish, all i want is to have the best stories in it ) I never thought they would just dumped the stories without consider what the mentor hinted cuz i tink we should take our mentor's feedback into consideration but not just asking other group members to vote on it. (trust me if you don't trust me then you should trust the mentor cuz he's expert in what he has done and able to visualized it) but not just relying on voting man!!!! one of my lecturer also taking the vote ,well guess all of them just follow the lectures's choice..Only one of my story being picked....My lecturer told me why you dropped the Vampire's story....i think he likes it though.

 At that time i really feel like i am "bottom of the world" ...."Off the board" so booooooooo..... me

( i know i know the lecturer got his point but his points not always the suitable for us , am i rite? )
Btw the story they voted of mine is the less hilarious one, i dun know wat the phuck is tis man...

In our group actually we had already narrowed down the stories 2 7 already,( they picked mine 3 stories) but one of the Smart-ass mentioned sumthing to brainwash the others....( i mean why should we doubting our stories and mentor's suggestions(Expert)  just because of the voting and follow majority?) (Yo friends i also made a hard decision to discard my vampire stories just because other group has the same theme wif me, and just because of some smart-ass say tat he saw it in youtube. Yo man the story is different ok)

I feel disapointment and sad , i have to follow them, cuz we r groupmates ( 4 against 1 is not a wise option to brag my cock is bigger cuz nobody gives a shit bout it)

  I did what i can to convince them and i really dont want to keep the matter inside me cuz its uncomfortable and causes me couldnt sleep. I tried to be open minded and accept but the pathetic side of mine is telling me it's unfair......I have to be reasonable and humble shouldn't let my ego thinks that i am on top of the game. Yesterday 27 may was torturing me, i couldn't close my eyes to sleep till 530 a.m. Why? because of my stupid thought keep thinking of the " past incident". I told myself it's past already so i should let it go why i 1 2 b so obstinate about the matter? (guess i really care about the outcome doesn't follow the way it should be)
 
  So i get down to my knee and pray and resume reading my bible. Psalm 25:4-5 is the verses i will frequently recite it.

 I dont know my future is but i know that my Lord my Father will always be here pointing the direction for me. I learnt my story didn't get picked must have the reason behind it so I let the matter go forgive myself  just that simple i crushed on my bed....yea

  The 7 stories my mentor would personally pick 1, i just got 1 story in it but i still didn't give up on my hope yet so i am still on the board.....

  Btw in case you dun know, my groupmates actually they r just like my next door grandma who nags a lot and have a lot of doubting issue and asked  "where to eat ?" for 3 years but still eating in the same place and asking same stupid question... tats bored

Grandma says "Beware of  what you want to comment about tis photo, or i will smack you wif my hand bag"...!!

chapter 2

  Yo, It's been a week i din post anything just kinda busy lately .....on watching old movies. Hmmmm...speaking of old movies ,what r your favourite old movie ? Recently i am watching movies around 90's to 03'. i found it amusing and hillarious in this movie called Evil dead. I know as a visual effect artist i should watch something cooler like battleship or Life of Pi but i sumtimes i just curious about how they film that movie without any 3d software tat time, probably they do it all with a special effect (human made). The movie is so classic and the main character Ashley campbell becomes an iconic character till present day.

See the shortgun he's holding its call broomstick a double-baralled shortgun
 
one thing which draws my attention is he appears in comic fighting both iconic villians like jason and freddy. Check out the poster i grabbed from google.

  Cool rite?
 The guy with claw is freddy krueger. He is the antagonist from nightmare elms street.

And this guy with mechette is my favourite. He's like a killing machine but he is a poor guy with a miserable childhood life.

I wont goin to tell all their story here, but they are awesome for me and they got a lot of series. Seriously both of them are one of the badass in horror film i tink, better dun dressed up like em for trick or treat or u might send behind bar haha.
 
  Btw, my favourite movie around tat time is spiderman and matrix trileology. I forgot i got 10 stories i need to come out and pitch it to my lecturer on 21-5, bussy rite? neh actually i m just finding excuses for myself to watch movies to find inspiration for my story assignment, i already got 10 of em. So i all i have to do is to deliver my stories for my mentor and make sure its simple and funny. Well, if you watch a lot of looneytoons, Tom and jerry u would know to prank a sarcastic and funny jokes in your stories.
 
  I am not sure whether my mentor would choose my story for my group or not but it's fine 2 me, the most important for me is Plz dun let it rain!!!!!

 I hate going to college when it is raining and i dont like wet, so hopefully it wont rain. If it does i would become

  and singing raining dogs and cats( a metaphore for heavy rain)

Cross finger, 2 minutes 2 tomorrow